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Our needs, wants & values

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Our needs, wants & values
September 29, 2024, 3:03 PM IST 

Humans are always seeking happiness, but what we pursue to achieve it varies from person to person and can change over time. Once we achieve what we seek, the joy is fleeting, and soon we find ourselves chasing the next source of happiness. This cycle has been studied by scholars and extensively explored in the wisdom of Vedanta and the Bhagavad Gita.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

Abraham Maslow, a psychologist from Columbia University, delved into why people do what they do. In his 1943 paper, “Hierarchy of Needs,” he explained human motivation through a hierarchy of needs. This concept was influential during my studies at IIT Kanpur and has guided me along with my exploration of Vedanta.

Maslow emphasized focusing on people’s positive qualities rather than viewing them as a “bag of symptoms.” His work influenced Martin Seligman, who later developed the field of Positive Psychology.

Maslow stressed the importance of focusing on the positive qualities in people, as opposed to treating them as a “bag of symptoms”. This was later picked up by others and notably Martin Seligman in 1999 who became the President of American Psychological Association and developed the field of Positive Psychology.

Maslow’s thesis is simple: human needs can be classified into five hierarchical categories, and as people satisfy lower-level needs, they move up to higher level ones:

1. Physiological body needs

These are biological necessities for human survival, such as air, water, food, shelter, clothing, warmth, sex, and sleep. They are the most critical needs, as other needs become secondary until these are met.

2. Safety needs

Once physiological needs are satisfied, the need for safety and security becomes prominent. Today, family and societal laws and order fulfill this need for most people.

3. Love & belonging needs

These involve emotional needs for relationships, affiliation, and connectedness. Family, friends, and social groups often fulfill this need. When I first arrived in Los Angeles 50 years ago, I desperately sought a familiar face and befriended a Pakistani roommate. Many wealthy Americans find themselves lacking in this area, surrounded by people yet feeling lonely.

4. Esteem needs (ego)

This level includes self-worth, accomplishment, and respect. Maslow divided these into esteem for oneself (dignity, achievement) and the desire for reputation or respect from others (status, prestige). This need leads to the pursuit of better jobs, clothing, ornaments, cars, and homes.

5. Self-actualization needs

This is the highest level and involves realizing one’s potential, seeking personal growth, and experiencing peak moments. It is doing something for its own sake, not to satisfy any lower-level needs.

In today’s societies, most educated people can fulfill the three lower-level needs easily and find themselves at the level of “Need for Esteem”. However, many get stuck there, unable to rise to the Self-Actualization” need. This phase differs slightly from what Vedanta calls “Self-Realization” but serves as a precursor to it. The intoxication of esteem is referred to as Maya Moh, or Maya Jaal in Vedanta. Sometimes a significant event, such as heart attack or a stroke or an accident can awaken us to the reality that we already have everything we need to be happy. During COVID-19, many realized the value of family and a simple life. Some awakening realizations included:

– Giving up uncomfortable designer clothes that we often wear to impress others.

– We eat what we enjoy, not expensive restaurant meals to show off.

– Expensive wines and single malt scotches were never truly our preference; fresh lime water is more pleasing.

– Imported caviars and cheeses weren’t really our taste; traditional foods like aloo chaat and sarson ka saag were always our favorites.

We often do things in others’ presence that we wouldn’t do alone, out of a desire to climb a social ladder of false values. When a life jolt, like a loved one’s illness or death or COVID-19, occurs, it opens our eyes to reality. Vedanta echoes this idea, emphasizing that one’s true nature is happiness.

Tat Twam Asi

“That (what you are searching for) You Are”

Modern thinkers, through their research, reach similar realizations.

Rethinking values: Is time really money?

The belief that “time is money” is widespread, but is it true? The COVID-19 crisis prompted us to question many societal norms. Harvard psychologist Ashley Whillans explored the relationship between time and money. After surveying people across economic backgrounds, she concluded:

“Nothing less than our health and happiness depends on reversing the innate notion that time is money.”

Whillans, who teaches negotiation at Harvard Business School, focuses on the trade-offs between time and money. She notes:

“Focusing on chasing wealth is a trap, because it leads only to an increased focus on chasing wealth.”

Most people focus too much on work and earning money, neglecting time for themselves. Shifting the mindset to prioritize time over money offers benefits. In her words:

“Unsurprisingly, most people focus too much on working and and making money and not enough on having more time. But shifting your mindset to prioritize time over money can have several benefits.”

Her research shows that after earning enough to cover basic needs and future savings, additional wealth does little for happiness. In her words:

“Once people start making a lot of money, they begin to think they’re doing worse in life, because they become obsessed with comparing themselves to those who are richer. Even multimillionaires make the mistake of believing that money, and not time, will enrich their lives.”

A survey of the world’s wealthiest found 75% (many with net worth over $10 million) felt that they needed “a lot more” money to be happy. This mindset is misguided. Parts of our brain are programmed to choose vice over virtue, leading to unhealthy choices. Many in my health groups struggle to get over addictions acquired in their past pursuit of false values.

In adversity, there is opportunity. Let’s use these realizations to reach Maslow’s fifth level and focus on what we truly enjoy, not how we are perceived.

World Happiness Report

In 2011, the UN unanimously adopted a resolution promoting sustainable happiness and well-being. This initiative, introduced by Bhutan and supported by 68 member states, led to the annual World Happiness Report, first published in 2012. The 11th report, released in 2023, again highlighted Scandinavian countries at the top.

One conclusion from these reports is that the happiness of Scandinavian countries relates more to human relationships and work-life balance than financial wealth. Social security for healthcare and old age can surpass economic gains in contributing to happiness. Pressuring children for economic success may shortchange them from life’s success.

Many of us focus on amassing large savings out of fear of unexpected medical emergencies in old age, neglecting health and wellness, often leading to self-fulfilling prophecies. Adopting PBWF/IF/10K lifestyle changes can improve health, boosting confidence in personal health management and significantly impact happiness. The fifth pillar of health not only improves physical health but fosters happiness regardless of physical condition.

To read the complete article on Times of India, click here 

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